"Okay, everyone out the window."
When Abbie was an only child, car seat arrangements were easy. The middle of the back seat is the safest place for a child to sit. Therefore, Abbie sat in the middle of the back seat. We want her to be as safe as possible, and lord knows with all the choking hazards we leave lying around the house, we need all the safety help we can get.
When the twins were born, we needed to rearrange the back seat of the sedan. Only one child could sit in the middle; the other two children had to sit on the edges behind the front seats. I decided to place Abbie on the driver’s side, Tory on the passenger’s side, and Ian in the middle. Why put Ian in the middle? Because we love him most.
NO! We love all of our children equally, even when they empty a freshly opened box of cereal on the floor. We put Ian in the middle because he was and still is the lightest child. When hefting a child into the middle seat, you might as well heft the lightest child. I think Abbie wound up on the driver’s side because I occasionally took trips with only Abbie, and on those occasions it was easiest to lock her into the same side I sat. That left Tory with the passenger side as his only option, much like a hand-me-down pair of jeans that’s perfectly androgynous except for the frilly trim is sometimes his only option for leg wear.
This system worked well for over two years. The children expected to sit in their assigned seats every time they rode in the car, eventually climbing into their seats to minimize the chance that I might unexpectedly force someone into the middle seat.
When Abbie started preschool and I started venturing into the world with just the boys, I changed the seats a bit. Without Abbie, I’d let Ian sit in her androgynous car seat on the driver’s side. He seemed to enjoy the view out the window, and the elimination of the possibility that Tory would steal a toy from him. I enjoyed not having to strain my back heaving him an extra several inches into the middle. Plus I love all my children equally, so therefore I couldn’t give one of them a safer seat than the other if I didn’t have to.
Recently we changed the setup again. I now have a vehicle with three rows of seats, so we let Abbie graduate into a booster seat in the third row. To allow her access to the third row, we permanently folded down the passenger’s side seat in the second row. Abbie loves her booster seat and the freedom offered by the red button she can push to release her seat belt the instant I move the transmission to “P.” Since Tory lost his traditional passenger’s side spot, I had to upset the boys’ seats, and that has caused problems.
Tory thinks he still gets to sit on the passenger side. When he crawls into the vehicle, he sits on top of the folded-down seat, ready for an unrestrained ride. Ian thinks that since Abbie is no longer in the row, he gets her old spot on the driver’s side. Under no circumstances do either boy want the middle seat.
When we load into the car now, I know one of the boys will scream when forced to sit in the middle. Never mind that the middle seat isn’t technically in the middle since there’s currently nothing but carpet between it and the passenger’s side door. Sometimes I put Ian in the middle, hoping he’ll enjoy his traditional spot since birth, but nope. Sometimes I put Tory in the middle thinking he’ll enjoy being on Ian’s right, which is his traditional spot since birth, but nope. Sometimes I consider letting Tory ride unrestrained on the passenger’s side, but nope. I love him too much to let him ride dangerously. Plus I can’t give Ian preferential treatment in terms of extra safety.
When the twins were born, we needed to rearrange the back seat of the sedan. Only one child could sit in the middle; the other two children had to sit on the edges behind the front seats. I decided to place Abbie on the driver’s side, Tory on the passenger’s side, and Ian in the middle. Why put Ian in the middle? Because we love him most.
NO! We love all of our children equally, even when they empty a freshly opened box of cereal on the floor. We put Ian in the middle because he was and still is the lightest child. When hefting a child into the middle seat, you might as well heft the lightest child. I think Abbie wound up on the driver’s side because I occasionally took trips with only Abbie, and on those occasions it was easiest to lock her into the same side I sat. That left Tory with the passenger side as his only option, much like a hand-me-down pair of jeans that’s perfectly androgynous except for the frilly trim is sometimes his only option for leg wear.
This system worked well for over two years. The children expected to sit in their assigned seats every time they rode in the car, eventually climbing into their seats to minimize the chance that I might unexpectedly force someone into the middle seat.
When Abbie started preschool and I started venturing into the world with just the boys, I changed the seats a bit. Without Abbie, I’d let Ian sit in her androgynous car seat on the driver’s side. He seemed to enjoy the view out the window, and the elimination of the possibility that Tory would steal a toy from him. I enjoyed not having to strain my back heaving him an extra several inches into the middle. Plus I love all my children equally, so therefore I couldn’t give one of them a safer seat than the other if I didn’t have to.
Recently we changed the setup again. I now have a vehicle with three rows of seats, so we let Abbie graduate into a booster seat in the third row. To allow her access to the third row, we permanently folded down the passenger’s side seat in the second row. Abbie loves her booster seat and the freedom offered by the red button she can push to release her seat belt the instant I move the transmission to “P.” Since Tory lost his traditional passenger’s side spot, I had to upset the boys’ seats, and that has caused problems.
Tory thinks he still gets to sit on the passenger side. When he crawls into the vehicle, he sits on top of the folded-down seat, ready for an unrestrained ride. Ian thinks that since Abbie is no longer in the row, he gets her old spot on the driver’s side. Under no circumstances do either boy want the middle seat.
When we load into the car now, I know one of the boys will scream when forced to sit in the middle. Never mind that the middle seat isn’t technically in the middle since there’s currently nothing but carpet between it and the passenger’s side door. Sometimes I put Ian in the middle, hoping he’ll enjoy his traditional spot since birth, but nope. Sometimes I put Tory in the middle thinking he’ll enjoy being on Ian’s right, which is his traditional spot since birth, but nope. Sometimes I consider letting Tory ride unrestrained on the passenger’s side, but nope. I love him too much to let him ride dangerously. Plus I can’t give Ian preferential treatment in terms of extra safety.
posted by Matt at
11:22 PM
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