Abbie Goes to College
Like all Good Parents, we at Abbie Update are very concerned about Abbie’s future college prospects. That’s why I read several books to Abbie every single day. When it comes time for Abbie’s college entrance exams, she will be very well prepped on who exactly is hiding in the pigsty (answer: a pig).
We are also concerned with college costs. So concerned that today we invited a financial planner into our home to explain in mind-numbing detail our options for saving for the future. He described several plans, such as the 529, the 401k, the 403b, the 1040ez, and the 411aok. Apparently investors are like high school girls picking out their prom dress, in that they can’t possibly be seen in the same tax shelter as anyone else in the neighborhood. So when Joe and Mary Investor discover that all their friends have already taken all the good savings plans, they have to petition their congress people to add another section to the tax code so their neighbors can have the following conversation:
Neighbor #1: Check out the portfolio on that 682.032f!
Neighbor #2: Slut.
All of this stuff is wildly complex. Going in, I was proud that I knew the difference between a Roth and simple IRA. Turns out, this was perhaps the simplest concept to grasp all afternoon. Understanding the jargon was made all the more difficult by the fact that I spent the session keeping Abbie entertained and her shrieking to a minimum. Somewhere in my brain, I’ve likely mixed the two activities, so there’s probably an important piece of stored information that reads like: “The main advantage of the yellow square plan is the blue circle can be used to red square at tax time. (Applause) Yay!”
The bottom line is we made it through, and we’ve now made an important first step to ensuring that Abbie can afford an enlightening college experience. Either that, or she'll have a more comfortable year hiking across Europe as she hides from her adult responsibilities.
We are also concerned with college costs. So concerned that today we invited a financial planner into our home to explain in mind-numbing detail our options for saving for the future. He described several plans, such as the 529, the 401k, the 403b, the 1040ez, and the 411aok. Apparently investors are like high school girls picking out their prom dress, in that they can’t possibly be seen in the same tax shelter as anyone else in the neighborhood. So when Joe and Mary Investor discover that all their friends have already taken all the good savings plans, they have to petition their congress people to add another section to the tax code so their neighbors can have the following conversation:
Neighbor #1: Check out the portfolio on that 682.032f!
Neighbor #2: Slut.
All of this stuff is wildly complex. Going in, I was proud that I knew the difference between a Roth and simple IRA. Turns out, this was perhaps the simplest concept to grasp all afternoon. Understanding the jargon was made all the more difficult by the fact that I spent the session keeping Abbie entertained and her shrieking to a minimum. Somewhere in my brain, I’ve likely mixed the two activities, so there’s probably an important piece of stored information that reads like: “The main advantage of the yellow square plan is the blue circle can be used to red square at tax time. (Applause) Yay!”
The bottom line is we made it through, and we’ve now made an important first step to ensuring that Abbie can afford an enlightening college experience. Either that, or she'll have a more comfortable year hiking across Europe as she hides from her adult responsibilities.
posted by Matt at
10:48 PM
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