I Am Sufficiently Prepared for Some Football

A long time ago, like back in college, Super Bowl Sunday used to mean getting together with many friends, making snide comments about the game and the commercials, and pigging out on junk food for hours on end. Now that I have multiple children who are too young to appreciate the difference between a chop block and a cut block, Super Bowl Sunday means inviting a handful of our bravest friends over to our home to watch the television while listening to wailing infants and countless toys playing annoying arrangements of music from the public domain. At least we could still pig out on junk food for several consecutive hours.

We started planning our party with the most important part: The food. We had a perfectly balanced spread from all of the major food groups. Fats and sweets came from the cupcakes I baked a few days ago for some reason, possibly because Valentine’s Day is approaching, and doesn’t everyone have cupcakes with pink sprinkles for Valentine’s Day? Grains came from the giant batch of Chex Mix Ellie prepared, which could be her favorite food since it combines two of her preferred ingredients: Salt and Worcestershire sauce. Meats came from the Little Smokies and chicken wings. Dairy came from the queso dip a friend brought. Vegetables came from the carrots and celery that accompanied the wings, and from the tomatoes and onions in the queso dip. Since we had two separate sources of veggies, we could pig out guilt free.

This spread provided us with supper, which meant Abbie had to pick a meal out of it too. While some parents provide only the finest organic foods to their children, we encouraged Abbie to form a meal out of Little Smokies, which are not only non-organic, they may not even be a carbon-based food. She liked pieces of the Chex Mix, especially the Kix that Ellie always adds in full violation of the Chex Mix Laws. Just to make sure she had a healthy meal, we gave her a full serving of milk, and then we refilled her sippy cup with root beer.

I caught as much of the game as I could. I spent much of my time running around, cleaning up, preparing food, and feeding somebody other than me. I devised an effective strategy of working in the kitchen or the kids’ room within earshot of the television, and whenever I heard someone exclaim something exciting like “wow,” “what a play,” or “is the bone sticking out?” I would rush into the living room to catch the replay. I also ran to the television for commercial breaks, but I returned to my work as soon as I realized I was watching a serious commercial, or a commercial involving Jay Mohr. Of course I made sure the kids were safe if I was watching them before leaving the room, because my children’s safety is my number one concern unless a very pivotal play is occurring, which never really happened in this game.

My rushing in and out of rooms strategy worked, although it slowed my work. I finished washing the dishes much later than usual. I put the twins down for their nap a little later than usual. I ate my supper a little later than usual, though to be fair supper and lunch kind of ran together today. I’ll pay for that tomorrow, but it was nice to act like I was in college again for one night, even if I had to act in spurts between childcare.