I'm the Map, I'm the Map, I'm the Map, I'm the Map...
After having watched every episode of “Dora the Explorer” at least thrice, and that includes the new beach episode that aired last week and we’ve watched several times on the DVR since then, I can now declare The Map to be the biggest jerk on children’s television, at least among the ranks of Good Guys.
The Map can do much good in the world. Whenever Dora et al need to know which way to go, he knows the way. When the cast is lost, he could simply tell them the three landmarks they’re looking for, and disappear into Backpack until they need his benevolence again. Instead, he has to turn the focus away from the kitten in trouble, the locked musical instruments, or whatever emergency the gang is trying to fix, and shine the spotlight on himself.
He only appears after everyone says his name, usually at least twice, and very loud.
Before he’ll help anyone, he has to interrupt the journey to sing his theme song, which praises him repeatedly and prominently features his name sung by himself and backup singers about ten times.
He always rubs it in that he’s the only one who knows where to go. “Well, I know where the Big Hill is…”
That little prima donna is gonna get beat up in high school a lot if he doesn’t tone it down.
The Map can do much good in the world. Whenever Dora et al need to know which way to go, he knows the way. When the cast is lost, he could simply tell them the three landmarks they’re looking for, and disappear into Backpack until they need his benevolence again. Instead, he has to turn the focus away from the kitten in trouble, the locked musical instruments, or whatever emergency the gang is trying to fix, and shine the spotlight on himself.
He only appears after everyone says his name, usually at least twice, and very loud.
Before he’ll help anyone, he has to interrupt the journey to sing his theme song, which praises him repeatedly and prominently features his name sung by himself and backup singers about ten times.
He always rubs it in that he’s the only one who knows where to go. “Well, I know where the Big Hill is…”
That little prima donna is gonna get beat up in high school a lot if he doesn’t tone it down.
posted by Matt at
11:30 PM
3 Comments:
Agreed. Wholeheartedly.
And would it kill them to throw in a new episode every month or so???
By
Amy, at 7:28 PM
Yes, but if you change the words to "You're the Finn" it is quite cute!
By
Anonymous, at 10:23 AM
Parodying The Map's song is the one redeeming quality. I do that all the time.
It's the dog.
It's the milk.
It's the Abbie/Ian/Tory.
By
Matt, at 11:57 PM
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