"Look, Pop, I'm planning some expert home repairs and I need a pair of bolt cutters, or wire cutters, or something to get the lock off my toolbox."
We went out as a family last night. In an ordinary week, this would only be blogworthy if I’m scraping the bottom of the idea barrel.* Due to work obligations, last night’s excursion was our first chance to leave the house as a family for several days. Work obligations will also keep us from leaving the house as a family for the next several days.
When faced with our only excursion opportunity in a week, we have to take advantage of it. What did we do in such exciting circumstances?
Did we eat out? Yes, but nothing exciting happened at the restaurant. Ian did however stuff about two chicken nuggets worth of shredded meat in his mouth at once, apparently terrified that a sibling would steal his stockpile. He’s a fast learner.
Did we shop for clearanced Easter merchandise? Yes, but that was dull. All the good candy was gone, leaving us to search for goodies among the pastel-colored crunchies, and the chocolate eggs that could only wish they were made by Cadbury. It did give Abbie a chance to practice her counting as she snuck ten bags of chocolate eggs into the cart, holding up another finger after each successful drop.
Our exciting stop was at the hardware store. This was one of those giant warehouse style hardware stores filled with lumber, pipes, fixtures, and other things to remind me that I have no carpentry, plumbing, or electrical skills. I like to stick to the light bulb section in these stores since they’re the only things in the store that I know how to use and install, although some of those new halogen bulbs look complicated.
Ellie wanted to buy new light fixtures for our new home. The home already has light fixtures, but they need replaced because they’re hideously ugly. At least that’s what Ellie tells me; I have no taste and would be happy with a bulb dangling from the ceiling by its exposed wires as long as it turned on and off with the light switch and kept the sparks to a minimum.
Since I have no decorating or installation skills, my help wasn’t needed. I took the kids off on a magical trip through the store to dream about the wonderful home improvements that could be if only we had the time. And the money. And the knowledge.
Unfortunately for a child, the hardware store is possibly the World’s Most Boring Place.** Aisles of things that I couldn’t touch, and I had no idea what they were for. At least, that’s how I remember it as a child, which maybe explains my current ignorance.
We found a couple ways to pass the time. We stopped at the doors, and I let Abbie play with them for a few minutes. I loved this section as a child. There are so many doors to open: Screen doors, pocket doors, sliding doors, French doors. Sometimes I could open a door, step inside, open another door, and walk out into the next aisle. It’s like an amusement park’s fun house with super bright lighting.
This entertained Abbie until she heard beeping in the next aisle. She ran over there, and I ran with her to keep her from being run over. A forklift was moving some pallets off a high shelf. The children were instantly mesmerized: The beeping, the whirring, the strength of a machine far beyond anything daddy could do. It was so powerful nobody ever told it when to go to bed. We stood back and I humored the kids while they sat slack-jawed, rivers of drool forming on their coats. When Abbie started trying to hop the fence that kept shoppers out of the aisle, I knew it was time to leave.
I found mama,*** and fortunately she was finishing. She’d chosen a pendulum fixture that will look fantastic in the living room. Or maybe it’ll go in the kitchen. The important thing is she tells me it’ll look fantastic after somebody with electrical skills installs it.
* Although to be honest, I do scrape the bottom of the idea barrel in an ordinary week.
** Mom and dad’s closet is the World’s Most Exciting Place.
*** By the way, Abbie loves to say “mama.” That should’ve been #1 on the list from a couple days ago.
When faced with our only excursion opportunity in a week, we have to take advantage of it. What did we do in such exciting circumstances?
Did we eat out? Yes, but nothing exciting happened at the restaurant. Ian did however stuff about two chicken nuggets worth of shredded meat in his mouth at once, apparently terrified that a sibling would steal his stockpile. He’s a fast learner.
Did we shop for clearanced Easter merchandise? Yes, but that was dull. All the good candy was gone, leaving us to search for goodies among the pastel-colored crunchies, and the chocolate eggs that could only wish they were made by Cadbury. It did give Abbie a chance to practice her counting as she snuck ten bags of chocolate eggs into the cart, holding up another finger after each successful drop.
Our exciting stop was at the hardware store. This was one of those giant warehouse style hardware stores filled with lumber, pipes, fixtures, and other things to remind me that I have no carpentry, plumbing, or electrical skills. I like to stick to the light bulb section in these stores since they’re the only things in the store that I know how to use and install, although some of those new halogen bulbs look complicated.
Ellie wanted to buy new light fixtures for our new home. The home already has light fixtures, but they need replaced because they’re hideously ugly. At least that’s what Ellie tells me; I have no taste and would be happy with a bulb dangling from the ceiling by its exposed wires as long as it turned on and off with the light switch and kept the sparks to a minimum.
Since I have no decorating or installation skills, my help wasn’t needed. I took the kids off on a magical trip through the store to dream about the wonderful home improvements that could be if only we had the time. And the money. And the knowledge.
Unfortunately for a child, the hardware store is possibly the World’s Most Boring Place.** Aisles of things that I couldn’t touch, and I had no idea what they were for. At least, that’s how I remember it as a child, which maybe explains my current ignorance.
We found a couple ways to pass the time. We stopped at the doors, and I let Abbie play with them for a few minutes. I loved this section as a child. There are so many doors to open: Screen doors, pocket doors, sliding doors, French doors. Sometimes I could open a door, step inside, open another door, and walk out into the next aisle. It’s like an amusement park’s fun house with super bright lighting.
This entertained Abbie until she heard beeping in the next aisle. She ran over there, and I ran with her to keep her from being run over. A forklift was moving some pallets off a high shelf. The children were instantly mesmerized: The beeping, the whirring, the strength of a machine far beyond anything daddy could do. It was so powerful nobody ever told it when to go to bed. We stood back and I humored the kids while they sat slack-jawed, rivers of drool forming on their coats. When Abbie started trying to hop the fence that kept shoppers out of the aisle, I knew it was time to leave.
I found mama,*** and fortunately she was finishing. She’d chosen a pendulum fixture that will look fantastic in the living room. Or maybe it’ll go in the kitchen. The important thing is she tells me it’ll look fantastic after somebody with electrical skills installs it.
* Although to be honest, I do scrape the bottom of the idea barrel in an ordinary week.
** Mom and dad’s closet is the World’s Most Exciting Place.
*** By the way, Abbie loves to say “mama.” That should’ve been #1 on the list from a couple days ago.
posted by Matt at
11:11 PM
1 Comments:
My little sister was always terrified of the "beep beeps" or forklifts. And I can install that light fixture for you, no problem.
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Anonymous, at 9:59 AM
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