Hitting the Baking Point
I spent yesterday afternoon baking. I don’t bake as much as I used to. I can’t exactly remember why. It may have something to do with the kids.
This wasn’t frivolous baking. Friends of ours suffered a death in their family. As per Iowa tradition, we needed to visit them with sympathy and food. It’s a simple way to help take their minds off the loss, if for no other reason than they have to figure out what they’re going to do with the half-ton of sweets all their friends brought.
I made them brownies and cherry crisp, fulfilling two food groups: Snacks, and dessert. The cherry crisp was easy; dump a can of pie filling in a dish, cut together the topping, and top. I left it unbaked so the family could freeze it and bake at their convenience after they’ve eaten/disposed of the more perishable foods others brought.
The brownies were more involved. I could have chosen something simpler, something from a box, but this was no time to go for a simple recipe. I had an ambitiously named “ultimate brownie” recipe to make.
The brownie recipe wasn’t exceptionally difficult; it just involved many ingredients, and a couple long wait times, specifically the “mix at high speed for 10 minutes” and “bake for 35 minutes” steps. I used the brownie baking breaks to mix together the cherry crisp, and to clean up the ensuing mess.
Notice what I did not do during the down time. I generally did not look after the kids. They occasionally wandered into the kitchen where I’d do my best to vocally entertain them, and they’d do their best to make my job difficult. They knocked over the garbage, dug inside the cabinets, and tried opening the hot oven door. Eventually I convinced them that the kitchen was not the best place to play, and they spent most of the rest of my baking time in the living room, probably playing, but most definitely not complaining.
After much hard work, I had everything mixed, baked, and cleaned to my satisfaction. The cherry crisp was in the refrigerator. The brownies had a couple minutes left in the oven. The kitchen counters were returned to their pre-baking cluttered state. I wandered into the living room to play with the kids for a few minutes before naptime, and found Abbie wandering naked from the waist down.
Abbie had pooped, and dutifully removed her diaper. Usually I’m observant enough to hear the familiar “shrip” of the diaper tabs when she does this, but the ultimateness of the brownies apparently distracted me. I decided she must have recently removed her diaper, or else I would have noticed it earlier. I merely had to find the discarded diaper, clean and re-diaper Abbie, and continue with naptime preparations.
I easily found the discarded diaper; it was next to the boys. My negligent parenting returned to bite me as they found the diaper several minutes ago, and had spent the ensuing time playing in its contents. Their hands were muckified, and with them their clothes, the couch, the carpet, their mouths…
This is where my prioritizing skills from a previous life in the workforce come in handy. What do I take care of first? Do I clean the boys before they touch anything else, and if so, which boy? Do I clean Abbie before she sits on something? Do I take the brownies out of the oven now that the timer is beeping? Do I clean Abbie before she sits on something else?
I went after the boys first. The brownies could stay for another couple of minutes, and I could give Abbie explicit directions to remain standing. I grabbed a package of wipes and quickly realized that mere wipes couldn’t clean hands that disgusting, Abbie couldn’t help but sit, and the brownies had already stayed in the oven for another couple of minutes.
I reprioritized. I pulled the brownies out of the oven, threw the boys in the bathtub (with no water!) to contain them in an area with easily cleaned surfaces, and cleaned and re-diapered Abbie. When she was fresh, I cleaned the carpet and furniture before anyone could make them a bigger mess. The boys screamed the entire time, but that was because I’d denied them their newfound toy.
Finally, I stripped the boys down and gave them a bath. My original intent was to give them a quick wash, but Abbie quickly informed me that she wanted a bath as well. I told her to stay out of the tub, but she listened to that directive as well as she listened to my earlier command to remain standing.
Several minutes later, everyone and everything was clean. I put the kids down for their nap, and walked into the kitchen to catch my breath. I still had some cleaning to do, and the brownies were overdone on the edges though not ruined. Suddenly I remembered why I don’t bake much anymore.
This wasn’t frivolous baking. Friends of ours suffered a death in their family. As per Iowa tradition, we needed to visit them with sympathy and food. It’s a simple way to help take their minds off the loss, if for no other reason than they have to figure out what they’re going to do with the half-ton of sweets all their friends brought.
I made them brownies and cherry crisp, fulfilling two food groups: Snacks, and dessert. The cherry crisp was easy; dump a can of pie filling in a dish, cut together the topping, and top. I left it unbaked so the family could freeze it and bake at their convenience after they’ve eaten/disposed of the more perishable foods others brought.
The brownies were more involved. I could have chosen something simpler, something from a box, but this was no time to go for a simple recipe. I had an ambitiously named “ultimate brownie” recipe to make.
The brownie recipe wasn’t exceptionally difficult; it just involved many ingredients, and a couple long wait times, specifically the “mix at high speed for 10 minutes” and “bake for 35 minutes” steps. I used the brownie baking breaks to mix together the cherry crisp, and to clean up the ensuing mess.
Notice what I did not do during the down time. I generally did not look after the kids. They occasionally wandered into the kitchen where I’d do my best to vocally entertain them, and they’d do their best to make my job difficult. They knocked over the garbage, dug inside the cabinets, and tried opening the hot oven door. Eventually I convinced them that the kitchen was not the best place to play, and they spent most of the rest of my baking time in the living room, probably playing, but most definitely not complaining.
After much hard work, I had everything mixed, baked, and cleaned to my satisfaction. The cherry crisp was in the refrigerator. The brownies had a couple minutes left in the oven. The kitchen counters were returned to their pre-baking cluttered state. I wandered into the living room to play with the kids for a few minutes before naptime, and found Abbie wandering naked from the waist down.
Abbie had pooped, and dutifully removed her diaper. Usually I’m observant enough to hear the familiar “shrip” of the diaper tabs when she does this, but the ultimateness of the brownies apparently distracted me. I decided she must have recently removed her diaper, or else I would have noticed it earlier. I merely had to find the discarded diaper, clean and re-diaper Abbie, and continue with naptime preparations.
I easily found the discarded diaper; it was next to the boys. My negligent parenting returned to bite me as they found the diaper several minutes ago, and had spent the ensuing time playing in its contents. Their hands were muckified, and with them their clothes, the couch, the carpet, their mouths…
This is where my prioritizing skills from a previous life in the workforce come in handy. What do I take care of first? Do I clean the boys before they touch anything else, and if so, which boy? Do I clean Abbie before she sits on something? Do I take the brownies out of the oven now that the timer is beeping? Do I clean Abbie before she sits on something else?
I went after the boys first. The brownies could stay for another couple of minutes, and I could give Abbie explicit directions to remain standing. I grabbed a package of wipes and quickly realized that mere wipes couldn’t clean hands that disgusting, Abbie couldn’t help but sit, and the brownies had already stayed in the oven for another couple of minutes.
I reprioritized. I pulled the brownies out of the oven, threw the boys in the bathtub (with no water!) to contain them in an area with easily cleaned surfaces, and cleaned and re-diapered Abbie. When she was fresh, I cleaned the carpet and furniture before anyone could make them a bigger mess. The boys screamed the entire time, but that was because I’d denied them their newfound toy.
Finally, I stripped the boys down and gave them a bath. My original intent was to give them a quick wash, but Abbie quickly informed me that she wanted a bath as well. I told her to stay out of the tub, but she listened to that directive as well as she listened to my earlier command to remain standing.
Several minutes later, everyone and everything was clean. I put the kids down for their nap, and walked into the kitchen to catch my breath. I still had some cleaning to do, and the brownies were overdone on the edges though not ruined. Suddenly I remembered why I don’t bake much anymore.
posted by Matt at
11:54 PM
2 Comments:
For those of us who only have 2 kids to "help" in the kitchen and who have a new found obsession for making new brownie recipes, would you care to post the recipe?
By
Anonymous, at 3:35 PM
The Ultimate Brownie
I was a little disappointed, but I guess that's what I get for buying into the hype. They were still good. I omitted the nuts and frosted them. They probably would've been better with chocolate chips or, ooh!, M&M's. I didn't want to get too crazy with something that was supposed to be a gift.
By
Matt, at 4:31 PM
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