I'm Not Dead

In case you’re curious, I haven’t succumbed to a devastating sinus infection, and you’re Internet connection is working properly. In fact, my Internet connection was the one that was down. I haven’t posted for the last couple of days because construction outside my home apparently cut my phone line, leaving me unable to connect to the Internet or, worse yet, order pizza. They have since repaired my phone line.* I’ve still been writing, and I’ve posted the last two days of posts for your enjoyment. What follows is the Top Ten Things I Did Instead of Looking Something up on the Internet.

10. Looking up addresses on the phone book’s map.
9. Watching the ESPN News bottom line.
8. Imagining all of the spam I was missing.
7. Rediscovering the comics in the newspaper.
6. Googling myself in the phone book.
5. Checking the classified ads for any new listings of Star Wars action figures.
4. Waited by the radio at X:59 of every hour, anticipating the top of the hour news report.
3. Reading the computer’s manual.
2. Playing with the kids instead of waiting for pages to load.
1. Asking people I know in real life what their kids did today.

* Duh.