Why I Mailed It in the Last Two Days
I spent most of Thursday preparing for the aforementioned funeral. My duties mainly revolved around creating a memorial DVD for the family to use during the service. It was a relatively simple project of slapping several video clips and pictures together without regard for artistic flow, but even a simple project requires an investment of a few hours.
The neighbor families helped me by providing childcare throughout the day. This allowed me to concentrate on the DVD that needed to be done in less than 24 hours, but it also meant Abbie was ignored by me for most of the day. By evening, her lack of attention came to a head as Abbie dug her fingernails into Ian’s forehead while I was feeding them and my hands were filled with bottles, and by “dug” I mean “dug hard enough to draw blood in a couple of spots.” He tried sucking through it at first, but once he realized how much it hurt, he stopped eating and started screaming. Usually I can bring the twins down from their screaming fits with a bottle in the mouth, but he was already too far gone to derive comfort from a simple suckle. I had to stop feeding Tory to hoist Ian on my shoulder, and the sudden lack of food sent him into a screaming fit. With a screaming baby on my shoulder and another on my foot, I scolded Abbie for hurting her brother in the first place, and the sense that she was in trouble threw her into tantrum. By this time the pain may have receded from Ian’s forehead, but any notion he had of calming down probably disappeared as he heard two other screaming children. I had three children, each screaming uncontrollably because the other two were screaming; that’s what we in the business like to call a “trifecta.”
Somehow, probably thanks to the neighbors that stopped by to help out, everyone calmed down, and I focused on the DVD, managing to finish burning a final copy minutes before her family left for the funeral in the morning. We then prepared our family for the funeral, throwing Abbie in the nicest dress she had, and the boys in matching duck outfits because those were the nicest outfits they had even though we hate dressing them identically. We managed to herd everyone out the door while making ourselves look somewhat presentable in time to arrive at the funeral minutes before the viewing ended.
We had several minutes between the viewing and the service, so Ellie staked out a row of seats for us near the doors in case we needed to make a quick escape, and I spent the time walking Abbie in the lobby to keep her entertained. When the service started, I was worried how the kids would act, but everyone behaved as well as I could ask. The twins were quiet, cute, and comforting during the service until about halfway through when they fell asleep, which I was fine with even though it was well before their scheduled nap time. Abbie was more of a handful; she sat on my lap demanding I read to her most of the time, which I obliged with whispers. We periodically took a break from reading picture books to read hymnals as she seemed to enjoy the hymns we sang.*
The service was as beautiful and difficult as you would imagine. The parents gave wonderful eulogies, including one of the most powerful funeral statements I’ve ever heard from the father. To the best of my memory, he said:
A lot of people grabbed tissues at that point, including the beautiful woman next to me. Unfortunately the funeral ran longer than we expected, and Ellie had a doctor’s visit scheduled, so we duck out a little early, right after the parents’ eulogies. Also unfortunately, this appointment was on the opposite end of town. Also also unfortunately, the freeway that would have provided a fast and simple path to the suburban office is under heavy construction, sending us on detours for our detours until we finally found an open entrance ramp.**
Fortunately Ellie was only about ten minutes late. I needed to pick her up when she was done, so I passed the time at our friends in the exurbs. She has a one-year-old girl, and was excited to see our three kids. She was so excited that she set up two Pack ‘N Plays for naps and cooked a fabulous, homemade lunch for Abbie. Abbie thwarted her efforts by dozing off in the car right before arrival, a maneuver that would prevent her from taking a nap, and refusing to eat most of her food, even those delicious sweet potato fries.
Even without much of a nap or lunch, Abbie was pleasant for our friend. The bevy of unfamiliar toys to throw and chew on probably helped keep her interest. The children were so pleasant they volunteered to watch them for us so we could have a nice dinner, an offer that gave us peace while quadrupling the number of children in their home. They had a familiar Sesame Street video, a bouncy seat, and a baby gym, so our children remained well-behaved in our absence despite Abbie’s refusal to eat their wonderful cooking for supper either, but I still felt guilty enough for dumping our children that I bought a grocery store gift card on the way back.
We packed the children back up and returned home for the first time in nine hours. Abbie took advantage of the ride to take that nap she missed earlier in the afternoon. When we arrived at home, I prepared the twins’ bedtime bottles while Ellie improvised an Abbie supper of yogurt, cereal, and other sugary items right before bedtime.
We spent today catching up on all the chores we missed the rest of the week. Remember that laundry I said I needed to fold last weekend? I finally did it today. I also made Abbie some sweet potato fries. She refused to eat those too, until I remembered the universal child food magnet: Ketchup.
Here’s hoping next week is a little calmer.
* The service was Mormon, and my first exposure to any Mormon service. Apparently they remain seated during their hymns, which was fine with us along with our child-filled laps.
** For anyone familiar with Des Moines geography, we started on SE 14th, and had to drive all the way to MLK to enter I-235. This also happened to be the ramp closest to our home, so we might as well have just driven back the way we came.
The neighbor families helped me by providing childcare throughout the day. This allowed me to concentrate on the DVD that needed to be done in less than 24 hours, but it also meant Abbie was ignored by me for most of the day. By evening, her lack of attention came to a head as Abbie dug her fingernails into Ian’s forehead while I was feeding them and my hands were filled with bottles, and by “dug” I mean “dug hard enough to draw blood in a couple of spots.” He tried sucking through it at first, but once he realized how much it hurt, he stopped eating and started screaming. Usually I can bring the twins down from their screaming fits with a bottle in the mouth, but he was already too far gone to derive comfort from a simple suckle. I had to stop feeding Tory to hoist Ian on my shoulder, and the sudden lack of food sent him into a screaming fit. With a screaming baby on my shoulder and another on my foot, I scolded Abbie for hurting her brother in the first place, and the sense that she was in trouble threw her into tantrum. By this time the pain may have receded from Ian’s forehead, but any notion he had of calming down probably disappeared as he heard two other screaming children. I had three children, each screaming uncontrollably because the other two were screaming; that’s what we in the business like to call a “trifecta.”
Somehow, probably thanks to the neighbors that stopped by to help out, everyone calmed down, and I focused on the DVD, managing to finish burning a final copy minutes before her family left for the funeral in the morning. We then prepared our family for the funeral, throwing Abbie in the nicest dress she had, and the boys in matching duck outfits because those were the nicest outfits they had even though we hate dressing them identically. We managed to herd everyone out the door while making ourselves look somewhat presentable in time to arrive at the funeral minutes before the viewing ended.
We had several minutes between the viewing and the service, so Ellie staked out a row of seats for us near the doors in case we needed to make a quick escape, and I spent the time walking Abbie in the lobby to keep her entertained. When the service started, I was worried how the kids would act, but everyone behaved as well as I could ask. The twins were quiet, cute, and comforting during the service until about halfway through when they fell asleep, which I was fine with even though it was well before their scheduled nap time. Abbie was more of a handful; she sat on my lap demanding I read to her most of the time, which I obliged with whispers. We periodically took a break from reading picture books to read hymnals as she seemed to enjoy the hymns we sang.*
The service was as beautiful and difficult as you would imagine. The parents gave wonderful eulogies, including one of the most powerful funeral statements I’ve ever heard from the father. To the best of my memory, he said:
I talk to a lot of expectant parents, and the one thing they always say is they want a healthy baby. They don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl. They don’t care what color eyes she has, or what color hair, they just want a healthy baby. Well now I know that it’s okay even if she’s not.
A lot of people grabbed tissues at that point, including the beautiful woman next to me. Unfortunately the funeral ran longer than we expected, and Ellie had a doctor’s visit scheduled, so we duck out a little early, right after the parents’ eulogies. Also unfortunately, this appointment was on the opposite end of town. Also also unfortunately, the freeway that would have provided a fast and simple path to the suburban office is under heavy construction, sending us on detours for our detours until we finally found an open entrance ramp.**
Fortunately Ellie was only about ten minutes late. I needed to pick her up when she was done, so I passed the time at our friends in the exurbs. She has a one-year-old girl, and was excited to see our three kids. She was so excited that she set up two Pack ‘N Plays for naps and cooked a fabulous, homemade lunch for Abbie. Abbie thwarted her efforts by dozing off in the car right before arrival, a maneuver that would prevent her from taking a nap, and refusing to eat most of her food, even those delicious sweet potato fries.
Even without much of a nap or lunch, Abbie was pleasant for our friend. The bevy of unfamiliar toys to throw and chew on probably helped keep her interest. The children were so pleasant they volunteered to watch them for us so we could have a nice dinner, an offer that gave us peace while quadrupling the number of children in their home. They had a familiar Sesame Street video, a bouncy seat, and a baby gym, so our children remained well-behaved in our absence despite Abbie’s refusal to eat their wonderful cooking for supper either, but I still felt guilty enough for dumping our children that I bought a grocery store gift card on the way back.
We packed the children back up and returned home for the first time in nine hours. Abbie took advantage of the ride to take that nap she missed earlier in the afternoon. When we arrived at home, I prepared the twins’ bedtime bottles while Ellie improvised an Abbie supper of yogurt, cereal, and other sugary items right before bedtime.
We spent today catching up on all the chores we missed the rest of the week. Remember that laundry I said I needed to fold last weekend? I finally did it today. I also made Abbie some sweet potato fries. She refused to eat those too, until I remembered the universal child food magnet: Ketchup.
Here’s hoping next week is a little calmer.
* The service was Mormon, and my first exposure to any Mormon service. Apparently they remain seated during their hymns, which was fine with us along with our child-filled laps.
** For anyone familiar with Des Moines geography, we started on SE 14th, and had to drive all the way to MLK to enter I-235. This also happened to be the ramp closest to our home, so we might as well have just driven back the way we came.
posted by Matt at
11:16 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home