You Might Be a Parent If...

I know I’ve had a bad day when…

…I try to justify waiting until morning to start an already filled dishwasher.

…I can measure the twins’ total naptime for the day in minutes.

…I can measure Abbie’s total tantrum time for the day in hours.

…Instead of going through Abbie’s bedtime routine, I just lie in her toddler bed and think about what a great place it would be for a nap.

…The twins wake me up while I’m feeding them for a change.

…Our supply of Goldfish crackers took a major hit in the past 24 hours.

… Just one child screaming at a time qualifies as restful.

…I realize I’ve been repeating, “red, orange, purple, pink” for five minutes as Abbie points to the colors in her book.

…The twins start falling asleep long before their scheduled naptime, threatening to throw off their schedule for the rest of the day and into the overnight, and I … just … don’t … care.

…Abbie pees through two consecutive diapers, and I never even forget to change her.

…I notice someone has a poopy diaper, and I determine just how poopy before deciding I should probably change it.

…I wait until I really have to pee before going to the bathroom, because there’s no way I’m getting up more times than absolutely necessary.

…This is my post for the day.