An Evening at Sears
I spent all day yesterday trapped inside my house. I couldn’t even get the mail, my one outdoors highlight of the day, since the holiday meant there was no mail. I suppose I could’ve walked to the mailbox anyway just for the experience, and if anyone asked if I forgot about the holiday I could’ve said that I never picked up the mail from the day before, but that was Sunday when there’s never mail and that would’ve just been silly.
That night when Ellie asked if I wanted to pick up our pictures from the photographer at Sears, I initially balked. I was tired. I’m always tired these days, but somehow I believed that I’d have more energy tomorrow. When Ellie mentioned that it would be my chance to leave the house for the day, I changed my mind, threw Abbie together, and drove to the mall. On the way I pondered if the more pathetic highlight for the day was a trip to the mailbox or a trip to Sears. Then I almost rear-ended another car and decided that pondering and driving don’t mix when I’m in a sleep-deprived haze.
Abbie and I walked through the entire store to reach the photography department. Along the way I noticed many signs advertising seasonal clearance and holiday sales, and made a note to check for cheap children’s clothes before leaving. At the photography desk, the clerk found my order, helpfully showed me the pictures to ensure everything was correct, and then helpfully showed me the three extra sheets of pictures they sent that I could have for an extra $16. Two of the sheets were a black and white family photo and a sepia-toned photo of the kids, just in case we have any relatives that fear color-photography. The other sheet was a calendar, which was interesting, but not $16 interesting. I told her no thanks, and let them send the sheets to the trash bin since they’d rather destroy sheets they’ve already printed than make me a deal.
On the way out, I moved toward the children’s clothes. A suspiciously friendly clerk found us along the way and traveled with us through several departments commenting on Abbie’s cuteness. Eventually she dropped her sales pitch, asking if we realized that Sears does home improvements. I told her we don’t own a home, which is true, and an even better deterrent for sales pitches than telling telemarketers that I don’t have a checking account.
The children’s department had little clothing left. The one highlight was a few infant coats meant to slip into a car seat, allowing us to bundle and buckle simultaneously. We registered for a couple before the twins came, but nobody bought them for us. Here was my chance to buy two for 75%-off. I almost bought them, but then I remembered that we don’t go anywhere with the twins, and realized it would probably be a waste.
With pictures in hand, we headed for the door. On the way out I saw a couple ask the suspiciously friendly clerk where the maternity clothes were. The clerk pounced on that opening, making small talk about the coming baby while she led them to the department. Suckers.
That night when Ellie asked if I wanted to pick up our pictures from the photographer at Sears, I initially balked. I was tired. I’m always tired these days, but somehow I believed that I’d have more energy tomorrow. When Ellie mentioned that it would be my chance to leave the house for the day, I changed my mind, threw Abbie together, and drove to the mall. On the way I pondered if the more pathetic highlight for the day was a trip to the mailbox or a trip to Sears. Then I almost rear-ended another car and decided that pondering and driving don’t mix when I’m in a sleep-deprived haze.
Abbie and I walked through the entire store to reach the photography department. Along the way I noticed many signs advertising seasonal clearance and holiday sales, and made a note to check for cheap children’s clothes before leaving. At the photography desk, the clerk found my order, helpfully showed me the pictures to ensure everything was correct, and then helpfully showed me the three extra sheets of pictures they sent that I could have for an extra $16. Two of the sheets were a black and white family photo and a sepia-toned photo of the kids, just in case we have any relatives that fear color-photography. The other sheet was a calendar, which was interesting, but not $16 interesting. I told her no thanks, and let them send the sheets to the trash bin since they’d rather destroy sheets they’ve already printed than make me a deal.
On the way out, I moved toward the children’s clothes. A suspiciously friendly clerk found us along the way and traveled with us through several departments commenting on Abbie’s cuteness. Eventually she dropped her sales pitch, asking if we realized that Sears does home improvements. I told her we don’t own a home, which is true, and an even better deterrent for sales pitches than telling telemarketers that I don’t have a checking account.
The children’s department had little clothing left. The one highlight was a few infant coats meant to slip into a car seat, allowing us to bundle and buckle simultaneously. We registered for a couple before the twins came, but nobody bought them for us. Here was my chance to buy two for 75%-off. I almost bought them, but then I remembered that we don’t go anywhere with the twins, and realized it would probably be a waste.
With pictures in hand, we headed for the door. On the way out I saw a couple ask the suspiciously friendly clerk where the maternity clothes were. The clerk pounced on that opening, making small talk about the coming baby while she led them to the department. Suckers.
posted by Matt at
10:05 PM
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