"I just want attention."

When they want to bring something to your attention, I think most toddlers will point at it. They might vocalize an “uh, uh” as well, or even, if they’re sufficiently advanced, say the object’s name. Balloons and animals are particular favorites to point out, and balloon animals are just too crazy to fathom. While carrying Abbie around, I’ve noticed children also love pointing out babies as near comatose toddlers suddenly wet their pants with excitement* pointing and vocalizing, trying to draw attention to the baby I’m carrying.

That’s only how most toddlers and possibly Michael Jackson react, though. My toddler will grab my hand and fling it in the direction of the interesting object in an attempt to make me point at it. I usually try to oblige her by accurately pointing at the object of interest and saying its name. “Dog. That’s our dog. Can you say dog?” I might say as I point at our dog while Abbie stares stoically in the dog’s direction. I’ll then continue to point out other things in our backyard like the fence, the grill, the tree, the other tree, another tree, and yet another tree. By doing this, my hope is to teach Abbie to point and vocalize at objects herself so that she may be able to interact with her surroundings on the same level as, say, Paris Hilton. We perform much the same routine while reading. Generally if I stop speaking for a few seconds, she will grab my hand and thrust it at brightly colored object on the page, and I’ll dutifully describe it. She’s even doing something similar with her toys, grabbing my hand to make me play with it.

I used to think this routine was very cute, plus I was teaching her communication skills. Honestly, it still is very cute, but I now believe I’ve become more of a crutch that needs to be removed. I feel like whenever she wants to draw attention to something she relies on me to do it. Pointing at stuff should be her job. My job should just be to describe things and eventually answer questions like “why?” or “why not?” or “what does (insert curse word here) mean?”

In my first attempt to remove the crutch, I did my best to not point when she tugs my arm. This proved too difficult to do since she can be very insistent on making me point at something, tugging my arm repeatedly until I crack. Once she even grabbed my foot to make it point. Plus we don’t clip her fingernails as often as we should, and they can get mighty sharp. Now I relent and point at things when she seizes my arm, but I don’t vocalize anything except encouragements for her to point. When she does something that I can generously describe as “pointing,” I make sure to explain it for her. She’s learning, and sometimes she tries to point, but the usual result is I point while we both stare stoically into the distance. That may not sound impressive, but remember that she’s still cognitively ahead of Paris Hilton.

* Possibly literally