"I'm a doctor, not a gardener."

It’s springtime, and if there’s one thing I can expect to do, it’s listen to the Cubs lose a lot. But if there’s another thing I can expect to do, it’s plant stuff. Last year we planted very little because we moved into our new home too late to start much gardening. That and the fact that Abbie was a newborn meant that we only averaged 49 minutes of free time combined each day, and darned if we were going to waste it gardening.

So off to the greenhouse we ventured to waste our free time today, and it turns out a crowded greenhouse is not a good place to take a baby. The first problem was Abbie loves to grab all sorts of things: toys, books, dog food, and apparently anything green and leafy. I’ve known about her plant fixation since she was about three months old and would stare at trees with a level of fascination babies usually only bestow upon shiny metal objects. When she learned to grab a couple months later, I could entertain her by holding her up to a tree so she could yank and shred leaves. Knowing this, I should have realized that mixing Abbie with plants sticking their foliage into packed aisles would create problems. Abbie would grab a plant, and before she could damage it, I would step back, putting her within reach of another plant, and I’d take another step back, making sure she was out of reach of any other plants. Eventually, though, I would have to move closer to a plant to inspect it, and when I did, she grabbed one, probably an expensive one, and knocked it on the floor, because if something doesn’t exist for her enjoyment, why does it exist at all?

At this point I wised up enough to strap her into a cart so the only plants she could grab were ones we intended to purchase. A few simple pot rotations, and all vegetation was out of her reach. Unfortunately, pristine potting soil was now within her reach. I should have realized that a baby who’s willing, nay, eager to eat spinach would also be willing to try a little dirt. Alas, I turned my back to inspect a particularly ravishing specimen of celosia, and when I turned back to the cart, Abbie had dirt smeared on her hand and around her mouth. I spent the rest of our time in the greenhouse watching Abbie closer than dog watches her when she eats, and drops, peas.

The rest of the trip went fairly smoothly and productively. We bought several new-to-us varieties of plants, including tomatoes and peppers. I thought I would try something different this year and grow some vegetables. Heaven knows the Cubs won’t be doing anything different this year.