When pants become Culottes

Here's an actual conversation I had with a store clerk today:

Clerk: (Fawning over Abbie) How cute! Are we wearing shorts today?
Me: Well, they're not supposed to be shorts.
Clerk: So they're capri pants then?
Me: Ummm, sure...

Those blasted pants were supposed to be full-length. And they were full-length as soon as I could set her down and unbunch the cuffs from around those thunder-thighs she's developed. I hate the way baby clothes ride up. Abbie doesn't help things either with her need to be carried. If I leave her in the shopping cart for more than a couple of minutes, she cons me into picking her up by chewing on the cart handle. She must know I hate that, and I'm pretty sure that she can pinpoint the most germ-infested section to commence munching. Once I have her in my arms, she usually begins squirming in a desperate attempt to learn what happens when she falls on the floor from a distance of four feet. After a couple of minutes, pants become shorts, and baby T-shirts become baby shawls. That's why my daughter will be wearing onesies for as long being carried is her primary mode of transportation. Bless the man who invented onesies. I think his name may have been Carter...