25 Minutes to Go

Ten minutes before naptime, Tory removed his poopy diaper this afternoon. No problem. I was standing next to him when I heard the telltale “shrip” of the diaper straps being loosened. I whisked him away to the changing table, careful to avoid letting anything contact his contaminated behind.

Eight minutes before naptime, I discovered that Ian must have removed his poopy diaper right after Tory. I ran over to grab him before he could contaminate something, and he plopped down on his bottom to avoid my grasp. The floor and his shirt were now poopy. I whisked him to the changing table, cleaned him, changed his clothes, and wiped the hardwood floor clean.

One minute before naptime, I discovered that Abbie must have removed her poopy pull-up right after Ian. While I was busy with the boys, she apparently tired of waiting and locked herself in her room to roll on the bed. Poop was smeared on her sheets, her bed frame, and her carpet. Poop was also smeared on her legs, her arms, and in her hair just for good measure.

One minute after naptime, I threw everyone in the bathtub. Ideally I would’ve just bathed Abbie, but when the kids sense that one of their siblings is in the bathtub, the other two will throw a tantrum at the door until I let them in the tub. It takes less time to unnecessarily bathe the other two children than it does to calm them down from a pre-nap tantrum.

Fifteen minutes after naptime, I re-entered the bathroom. Everyone had been sufficiently soaped, and I left them to play in the bathtub while I gathered towels and clothes. As I stepped through the door I discovered the boys were playing in the bathtub by throwing water on the floor.

Thirty minutes after naptime, I shut the boys in their room. They were clean and dressed, and the bathroom floor was mostly dry. They were screaming, possibly because I just skipped the entire naptime routine. I’m pretty sure the fact that they were a half-hour late for their nap contributed to their crankiness too. I turned my attention to Abbie and set her down on a clean bed with clean sheets while walking across a clean carpet.

Forty-five minutes after naptime, I laid down for my nap. I needed it.