I Hit
Abbie’s latest trick is hitting. This is her latest in a series of aggressive moves including biting, scratching, and crying with that “how could you hurt me so?” expression every time I deny her Goldfish.
Abbie has hit people for months now. She opened her hand and shoved it forward, utilizing a style commonly known as “hitting like a girl.” This past weekend, she discovered the power of the techniques “rearing back,” and “following through.” Now she hits like a baseball player teeing off on a, um, tee. She hits like a good baseball player, too, such the July version of the Cubs, not like a bad baseball player, such as the April version of the Cubs.
I know that when disciplining a child, it’s important to remain calm, and firmly yet coolly explain to the child what she did wrong, and what sort of punishment she must endure. I also know that it’s hard to stay calm when your daughter just slapped you across the face.
I thought I discovered the perfect way to discuss the consequences of hitting. I started a series of rules, starting with the number one rule: Do not hit.* Every time Abbie hit somebody, which has been several times an hour over the past few days, I’d give her a warning. I’d say, “Abbie, what’s the number one rule?” At first I had to supply the “do not hit” part, but she delighted me by quickly learning to respond with “do not hit.” After the warning, if she hit someone again within the next couple minutes, I set her in timeout. It was brilliant.
We practiced this rule during bath time. Abbie slapped her leg, and said “Abbie, what’s the number one rule? Do not hit.” I repeated the rule with her, happy to see the rule sinking into her psyche.
As bath time progressed and she slapped her leg a few dozen more times, it turned a little creepy. Something was sinking into her psyche, but I don’t think it was my rule. Hitting seems to be a game with her, and this little rule I started adds a new dimension to this game. When she hits, it starts an exciting chain of events: Grabbing her attention, explaining the rule, throbbing vein in my forehead.
Abbie loves triggering this sequence. Somehow I have to break it. Maybe I could try yelling more. No. Straight to timeout? Maybe. Deny Goldfish? Couldn’t hurt.
* Rule #2: Do not push. Rule #3: Do not bite. Rule #4: Do not scratch.
Abbie has hit people for months now. She opened her hand and shoved it forward, utilizing a style commonly known as “hitting like a girl.” This past weekend, she discovered the power of the techniques “rearing back,” and “following through.” Now she hits like a baseball player teeing off on a, um, tee. She hits like a good baseball player, too, such the July version of the Cubs, not like a bad baseball player, such as the April version of the Cubs.
I know that when disciplining a child, it’s important to remain calm, and firmly yet coolly explain to the child what she did wrong, and what sort of punishment she must endure. I also know that it’s hard to stay calm when your daughter just slapped you across the face.
I thought I discovered the perfect way to discuss the consequences of hitting. I started a series of rules, starting with the number one rule: Do not hit.* Every time Abbie hit somebody, which has been several times an hour over the past few days, I’d give her a warning. I’d say, “Abbie, what’s the number one rule?” At first I had to supply the “do not hit” part, but she delighted me by quickly learning to respond with “do not hit.” After the warning, if she hit someone again within the next couple minutes, I set her in timeout. It was brilliant.
We practiced this rule during bath time. Abbie slapped her leg, and said “Abbie, what’s the number one rule? Do not hit.” I repeated the rule with her, happy to see the rule sinking into her psyche.
As bath time progressed and she slapped her leg a few dozen more times, it turned a little creepy. Something was sinking into her psyche, but I don’t think it was my rule. Hitting seems to be a game with her, and this little rule I started adds a new dimension to this game. When she hits, it starts an exciting chain of events: Grabbing her attention, explaining the rule, throbbing vein in my forehead.
Abbie loves triggering this sequence. Somehow I have to break it. Maybe I could try yelling more. No. Straight to timeout? Maybe. Deny Goldfish? Couldn’t hurt.
* Rule #2: Do not push. Rule #3: Do not bite. Rule #4: Do not scratch.
posted by Matt at
11:20 PM
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