The Night Before Christmas Dinner

‘Twas the night before Christmas dinner
When all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Except for Abbie who sounds like she started a fire that needs a douse.

The children were tucked
In their beds with care
In hopes that dreamland
They’d soon be there.

The twins were nestled
All snug in their beds
While Abbie bounced around the room
Causing ceiling plaster to fall on their heads.

And mama in bed
And I at the computer
Had just settled down
To plan tomorrow’s dinner.

The grandparents are visiting
And they care not what they eat
As long as there’s ham, pecan pie,
Green bean casserole, and beef.

I’ve baked my cherry pie
For I’ve had no desserts based in fruit
Tomorrow I’ll bake a pumpkin one
Is pumpkin also a fruit?

I’ll make green bean casserole
To add in some veggies
I’ve already made Oreo Fluff
That’s a salad; those are always healthy

Grandpa brought a tenderloin
Cooking it is his duty
If I tried to prepare it,
It would surely emerge burny.

Grandma will make
Her pecan pie tomorrow
If I convince her to add chocolate chips
After dinner I’ll be in triple-dessert sorrow.

Four kinds of soda pop are
In the fridge next to a little spirit
If that drink selection doesn’t please everyone
I don’t want to hear it.

When it comes time to cook
I’ll go straight to work
Heating this, stirring that
Giving orders, and being a jerk.

I’ll call everyone to the table
If need be I’ll whistle
Anyone who doesn’t come promptly
Will have a plateful of gristle.

But that’s tomorrow
And my eyelids are too heavy for sight
So let me say before going to bed
“Dammit, Abbie, good night!”