Yes and No
The question I keep hearing from people is “Is it getting any easier?” That, and “Abbie dressed herself today, didn’t she?” While the answer to the second question is a distinct “no,” the answer to the first question is a nuanced “sort of.”
A relative of mine who’s a wizened mother of a then three-year-old once explained that it gets physically easier as the child ages, but mentally harder. I like that answer. No longer do I have to carry Abbie everywhere I go, trying to figure out how to brush my teeth, empty the dishwasher, and prepare a bottle with one free hand because the other hand is busy holding a fussy infant. Now Abbie is happy on the ground, leaving me to ponder childcare conundrums like “Where did she run off to now?” “How can I trick her into eating hamburger tonight?” and “Why doesn’t a white top with green stripes match a white skirt with pink and blue stripes?”
Of course when people ask if “It’s getting easier,” “it” doesn’t just refer to Abbie. Questioners want to know if caring for twin boys with help from Abbie is getting easier. People assume that single-handedly caring for three children for hours at a time with a combined age of 39 months day after day is difficult, and that if I don’t get some relief soon I’m going to go crazy and start spouting demented rants against obviously vital things like cell phones.
Life is sort of getting easier. The boys have always been content on the floor, so I never had to figure out how to care for a toddler with a boy in one or (gasp) both arms, but they were still a lot of physical work a couple months ago. I used to have to sit with them for their entire wake time to keep them entertained, and by “entertained” I mean “awake.” My primary form of “entertainment” was poking them.
Now they stay awake until naptime on their own, which makes my life easier; I can direct my attention to other things like household chores or making Abbie let go of the dog’s fur. On the flip side, they now nap less, so I have to do things while they’re awake. I no longer have time to vacuum while they nap, I have to expose them to the whirring belts while they stay in wide-eyed fascination/horror at the noise.
I’m not playing mind games with them yet, so the increased mental challenge comes from caring for them while delaying my desires, like checking the newspaper, running to the bathroom, or killing our barking dog. The best example of this is at mealtime. I’ve successfully aligned everyone’s meals at the same time, including mine. I feed the boys, then Abbie, and finally myself. I don’t do much to feed Abbie anymore, just make sure she has food on her tray at the appropriate time, but the twins are time-intensive, especially now that they’re eating solids. I usually spend a half-hour feeding the boys, and another 15 minutes preparing Abbie’s meal while checking for dirty diapers before I get to eat. In the morning when I have to dress everybody in addition to feeding them breakfast, I’m lucky if I start eating an hour after waking the boys. Raisin bran tastes amazingly good about 9am. Steamed broccoli is also delicious after spending the last hour watching everyone else eat, in spite of what I may have seen minutes ago under someone’s, or someones’, diapers.
After everyone eats, they’re usually happy to play by themselves long enough for me to clean the kitchen, so I can say that life is getting easier in that way. Except that last night Ian managed to scoot into the kitchen all the way from the living room; that’s a harbinger that things are about to get a lot harder.
A relative of mine who’s a wizened mother of a then three-year-old once explained that it gets physically easier as the child ages, but mentally harder. I like that answer. No longer do I have to carry Abbie everywhere I go, trying to figure out how to brush my teeth, empty the dishwasher, and prepare a bottle with one free hand because the other hand is busy holding a fussy infant. Now Abbie is happy on the ground, leaving me to ponder childcare conundrums like “Where did she run off to now?” “How can I trick her into eating hamburger tonight?” and “Why doesn’t a white top with green stripes match a white skirt with pink and blue stripes?”
Of course when people ask if “It’s getting easier,” “it” doesn’t just refer to Abbie. Questioners want to know if caring for twin boys with help from Abbie is getting easier. People assume that single-handedly caring for three children for hours at a time with a combined age of 39 months day after day is difficult, and that if I don’t get some relief soon I’m going to go crazy and start spouting demented rants against obviously vital things like cell phones.
Life is sort of getting easier. The boys have always been content on the floor, so I never had to figure out how to care for a toddler with a boy in one or (gasp) both arms, but they were still a lot of physical work a couple months ago. I used to have to sit with them for their entire wake time to keep them entertained, and by “entertained” I mean “awake.” My primary form of “entertainment” was poking them.
Now they stay awake until naptime on their own, which makes my life easier; I can direct my attention to other things like household chores or making Abbie let go of the dog’s fur. On the flip side, they now nap less, so I have to do things while they’re awake. I no longer have time to vacuum while they nap, I have to expose them to the whirring belts while they stay in wide-eyed fascination/horror at the noise.
I’m not playing mind games with them yet, so the increased mental challenge comes from caring for them while delaying my desires, like checking the newspaper, running to the bathroom, or killing our barking dog. The best example of this is at mealtime. I’ve successfully aligned everyone’s meals at the same time, including mine. I feed the boys, then Abbie, and finally myself. I don’t do much to feed Abbie anymore, just make sure she has food on her tray at the appropriate time, but the twins are time-intensive, especially now that they’re eating solids. I usually spend a half-hour feeding the boys, and another 15 minutes preparing Abbie’s meal while checking for dirty diapers before I get to eat. In the morning when I have to dress everybody in addition to feeding them breakfast, I’m lucky if I start eating an hour after waking the boys. Raisin bran tastes amazingly good about 9am. Steamed broccoli is also delicious after spending the last hour watching everyone else eat, in spite of what I may have seen minutes ago under someone’s, or someones’, diapers.
After everyone eats, they’re usually happy to play by themselves long enough for me to clean the kitchen, so I can say that life is getting easier in that way. Except that last night Ian managed to scoot into the kitchen all the way from the living room; that’s a harbinger that things are about to get a lot harder.
posted by Matt at
12:01 AM
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