Calendar Girl
January in our household always means two things: Eating leftover Christmas candy all month long, and buying clearanced calendars. Thanks to Ellie’s dairy-free and lactation-friendly diet, I’m hitting the candy hard with a little help from Abbie. The calendar part we took care of this week.
Earlier in the week, I took Abbie to the mall to buy my calendars. I always buy two calendars: First, a large wall calendar suitable for writing appointments and important events on it so at the end of every day I can look at it and see where I was supposed be that day; second a page-a-day desk calendar to place next to my computer, providing me with a daily dose of humor and scratch paper. I like to buy a wall calendar with pictures of American Eskimos, our dog’s breed. Yes, they make such a specialized calendar for the dozen people in Des Moines who own the breed, but they can be harder to find than the Bears’ playoff hopes.
With a good idea of what I wanted, I hoped I could pop into the calendar kiosk, find my calendars, and pop out before Abbie had a chance to pull too many calendars off the shelves. I found my page-a-day calendar, Simpsons trivia, fairly easily since it was prominently displayed like all calendars are that appeal to the key calendar-buying demographic. My wall calendar took significantly more effort since it was buried in the racks behind thousands of Labrador and Retriever calendars. To find one, I had to flip through a couple calendars, redirect Abbie away from the racks, flip through a few more, redirect a calendar from Abbie’s mouth, flip through a little more, and redirect Abbie again, this time from running away to the Great American Cookie Co. before pulling out my calendar.
The checkout line was another obstacle. You might think a cashier who does nothing but ring up calendars all day would be fairly proficient at it by the time the new year rolls around, perhaps even establishing a system to most efficiently move customers through the line. You’d be wrong. The cashier viewed each calendar the way that a caveman would view Tickle Me Elmo, with a little curiosity, a little suspicion, and a little fear. She carefully inspected each calendar before ringing it up, possibly to verify that it wouldn’t hurt her, or possibly to verify that it wasn’t the last copy of the one she wanted to buy. Meanwhile, Abbie was growing increasingly fidgety, then increasingly whiny, then increasingly screamy. I’m able to block her protestations, but the surrounding customers doubtlessly wondered what kind of sadistic father would subject his toddler to a calendar kiosk.
I eventually bought my calendars. I had hoped to do a little more shopping, but Abbie drained me to the point where I just went home. Later this week, Ellie took Abbie back to the calendar kiosk. She needed a Far Side weekly planner, though I’m not sure if she needed the weekly planner or the Far Side comics. I assumed Abbie would be a terror for Ellie as well, but she informed me that Abbie was surprisingly well behaved. She acted so cute, the cashier gave her a puppy mini-wall calendar, which Abbie flips through like a book. I shrugged at the difference, and went back to my Christmas candy. Only two more bags left in the freezer.
Earlier in the week, I took Abbie to the mall to buy my calendars. I always buy two calendars: First, a large wall calendar suitable for writing appointments and important events on it so at the end of every day I can look at it and see where I was supposed be that day; second a page-a-day desk calendar to place next to my computer, providing me with a daily dose of humor and scratch paper. I like to buy a wall calendar with pictures of American Eskimos, our dog’s breed. Yes, they make such a specialized calendar for the dozen people in Des Moines who own the breed, but they can be harder to find than the Bears’ playoff hopes.
With a good idea of what I wanted, I hoped I could pop into the calendar kiosk, find my calendars, and pop out before Abbie had a chance to pull too many calendars off the shelves. I found my page-a-day calendar, Simpsons trivia, fairly easily since it was prominently displayed like all calendars are that appeal to the key calendar-buying demographic. My wall calendar took significantly more effort since it was buried in the racks behind thousands of Labrador and Retriever calendars. To find one, I had to flip through a couple calendars, redirect Abbie away from the racks, flip through a few more, redirect a calendar from Abbie’s mouth, flip through a little more, and redirect Abbie again, this time from running away to the Great American Cookie Co. before pulling out my calendar.
The checkout line was another obstacle. You might think a cashier who does nothing but ring up calendars all day would be fairly proficient at it by the time the new year rolls around, perhaps even establishing a system to most efficiently move customers through the line. You’d be wrong. The cashier viewed each calendar the way that a caveman would view Tickle Me Elmo, with a little curiosity, a little suspicion, and a little fear. She carefully inspected each calendar before ringing it up, possibly to verify that it wouldn’t hurt her, or possibly to verify that it wasn’t the last copy of the one she wanted to buy. Meanwhile, Abbie was growing increasingly fidgety, then increasingly whiny, then increasingly screamy. I’m able to block her protestations, but the surrounding customers doubtlessly wondered what kind of sadistic father would subject his toddler to a calendar kiosk.
I eventually bought my calendars. I had hoped to do a little more shopping, but Abbie drained me to the point where I just went home. Later this week, Ellie took Abbie back to the calendar kiosk. She needed a Far Side weekly planner, though I’m not sure if she needed the weekly planner or the Far Side comics. I assumed Abbie would be a terror for Ellie as well, but she informed me that Abbie was surprisingly well behaved. She acted so cute, the cashier gave her a puppy mini-wall calendar, which Abbie flips through like a book. I shrugged at the difference, and went back to my Christmas candy. Only two more bags left in the freezer.
posted by Matt at
10:40 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home