Ian + Tory = Abbie
I’ve read multiple books* on parenting, giving me a decent idea of what to expect from raising multiple children. Near as I can tell, one of the most important things to remember is never compare your children. Every child is a unique individual with his or her unique talents suitable for reaching out into the world, and comparing them can make one child feel inadequate or miss an innate talent while busily trying to catch up to a sibling. Of course, the twins keep me holed up in home, limiting my human interaction to my family. I have to compare somebody, so until they let me out of the house, I’m comparing my kids to each other.
Today, the twins are the same gestational age as Abbie was when she was born, 38-and-a-half weeks. Their behaviors are an odd mix of preemie, newborn, and two-month-old behaviors. They still sleep like preemies, falling asleep while they suck on the bottle. They sleep the rest of the day like newborns, which is to say not nearly as long as I’d like. They have the head control of two-month-olds; heck, they have the head control of three-month-olds, able to lift and turn and help daddy out a bit when he doesn’t support their heads like he should. As of right now though, I consider them to be newborns, which means I can compare them to what Abbie did when she was their age.
Abbie was a very demanding baby. Twins are supposed to be doubly demanding, but so far they’re no worse combined than Abbie was by herself. Maybe it’s just because I have experience now. Maybe it’s because I know what to expect. Maybe it’s because Ellie is able to help out now instead of being stuck in the hospital having her gall bladder removed right after giving birth to Abbie. Whatever the reason, I’m enjoying this more than I did with Abbie.
The best example of this is sleep. Abbie slept in two-hour shifts around the clock as a newborn. If you consider that it takes an hour to wake up, feed a baby, and fall back asleep, I didn’t sleep for more than an hour at a time for a couple weeks. The twins reliably give me three hours between feedings at night. It takes a little longer to feed them, plus I can’t trade feeding duty with Ellie, but I’m still way ahead on my sleep total.
Then there’s my ability to set them down. Abbie had four modes at birth: Sleeping, eating, being held, or screaming. If we set her down while she was still awake, we would incur her wrath, and it would be vicious. The twins I can set down on the floor, and they’re content to just look around at our home’s squalor. That’s good because holding two babies simultaneously while chasing after a toddler who’s intent on climbing on the kitchen table to find new breakable objects to hurl would be impossible. Now when I hear Abbie do something she’s not supposed to do, or worse yet stop hearing Abbie do anything, a sign that she’s really found something she’s not supposed to do, I can leave the twins on the floor and go scold Abbie for grabbing whatever it is she found to stick in her mouth. Of course the parenting books say you shouldn’t leave infants unsupervised, but as long as I’m breaking the no comparing rule, I figure why not break another rule.
* One-and-a-quarter.
Today, the twins are the same gestational age as Abbie was when she was born, 38-and-a-half weeks. Their behaviors are an odd mix of preemie, newborn, and two-month-old behaviors. They still sleep like preemies, falling asleep while they suck on the bottle. They sleep the rest of the day like newborns, which is to say not nearly as long as I’d like. They have the head control of two-month-olds; heck, they have the head control of three-month-olds, able to lift and turn and help daddy out a bit when he doesn’t support their heads like he should. As of right now though, I consider them to be newborns, which means I can compare them to what Abbie did when she was their age.
Abbie was a very demanding baby. Twins are supposed to be doubly demanding, but so far they’re no worse combined than Abbie was by herself. Maybe it’s just because I have experience now. Maybe it’s because I know what to expect. Maybe it’s because Ellie is able to help out now instead of being stuck in the hospital having her gall bladder removed right after giving birth to Abbie. Whatever the reason, I’m enjoying this more than I did with Abbie.
The best example of this is sleep. Abbie slept in two-hour shifts around the clock as a newborn. If you consider that it takes an hour to wake up, feed a baby, and fall back asleep, I didn’t sleep for more than an hour at a time for a couple weeks. The twins reliably give me three hours between feedings at night. It takes a little longer to feed them, plus I can’t trade feeding duty with Ellie, but I’m still way ahead on my sleep total.
Then there’s my ability to set them down. Abbie had four modes at birth: Sleeping, eating, being held, or screaming. If we set her down while she was still awake, we would incur her wrath, and it would be vicious. The twins I can set down on the floor, and they’re content to just look around at our home’s squalor. That’s good because holding two babies simultaneously while chasing after a toddler who’s intent on climbing on the kitchen table to find new breakable objects to hurl would be impossible. Now when I hear Abbie do something she’s not supposed to do, or worse yet stop hearing Abbie do anything, a sign that she’s really found something she’s not supposed to do, I can leave the twins on the floor and go scold Abbie for grabbing whatever it is she found to stick in her mouth. Of course the parenting books say you shouldn’t leave infants unsupervised, but as long as I’m breaking the no comparing rule, I figure why not break another rule.
* One-and-a-quarter.
posted by Matt at
10:09 PM
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