Have Broom, Will Work
I have a broom and dustpan. I generally know where they are.* I don’t use them much, though. If the kids sneak dried food into their bedrooms and dump it on the carpet, I have a vacuum for that mess. If the kids dump food in the rest of the house, we have hardwood floors to catch it, and a dog to clean up every last crumb.
My dog-cleaning method is ideal for those mealtime messes. My children still tell me they’re done eating by throwing food. This is in spite of my frequent lessons and pleadings to say, “all done.” In their defense, they have learned to say, “all done,” but they usually say it while the food is en route to the floor. When the first scraps hit the floor, I know it’s time to pull the tray before the rest of their meal hits the floor. Ideally, I’d grab the broom and dustpan after every meal and clean the spilled food myself. Ideally, I’d also have morning to bedtime activities scheduled for my children that would entertain while teaching important life skills, but that doesn’t happen either. Instead, at mealtime the dog quickly goes to work on the spilled food, her speed aided by her habit of sitting under the table when the kids eat. Meanwhile, I work on other childcare duties, such as pulling another tray of food before that child can throw it on the floor, and by the time I catch my breath, I have a sparkling clean floor.
The dog has her limitations, though. She has finite stomach space, and won’t eat a large quantity of food. Also, she’s moody and slow to work in the mornings. While I can relate to that quirk, it often means she ignores those early morning messes. The boys blew past both of those limitations this morning, and had me reaching for the broom and dustpan before I could even put breakfast on the table.
I dress everyone first thing in the morning. That protects the pajamas from mealtime, and prevents the saturated overnight diapers from leaking. I opened the door to the boys’ room, and walked into Abbie’s room. Usually the boys wander into Abbie’s room to greet us after a long night of separation. Sometimes they stay in their room, also being moody and slow to work in the morning. Today they ran into the kitchen and found the half-bag of Fruit Rings I foolishly left within their clutches. As I helped Abbie dress for the day, I heard the unmistakable clatter of dozens of bite-sized food pellets tumbling to the floor. After a quick investigation to ensure they hadn’t done something dangerous, I discovered that they had dumped the entire remaining bag of Fruit Rings on the floor. I shrugged, and went back to Abbie’s room to check that her shirt was on right side out with the front facing front.
When I went back to the kitchen, the dog in her moodiness was ignoring the spill, but the boys were eagerly cleaning it. I grabbed my broom and started sweeping before the boys could ingest too much more dirt.
After spending too much time cleaning, I put the broom away, changed the boys, and started making breakfast. By now, breakfast was very late to the tray, and the boys were frantic with hunger despite their fruity floor snack. I sped the food to the trays and sat the children in their seats with cereal in their bowls, and milk in their cups. I paused to catch my breath, and saw Tory dump his entire bowl of cereal on the floor. Apparently he just wanted the milk to wash down the cereal he already ate. The dog, unwilling to meet the day, was still in her kennel, so I sent Tory to his room as punishment while I pulled the broom and dustpan back into use.
* The laundry room last I checked.
My dog-cleaning method is ideal for those mealtime messes. My children still tell me they’re done eating by throwing food. This is in spite of my frequent lessons and pleadings to say, “all done.” In their defense, they have learned to say, “all done,” but they usually say it while the food is en route to the floor. When the first scraps hit the floor, I know it’s time to pull the tray before the rest of their meal hits the floor. Ideally, I’d grab the broom and dustpan after every meal and clean the spilled food myself. Ideally, I’d also have morning to bedtime activities scheduled for my children that would entertain while teaching important life skills, but that doesn’t happen either. Instead, at mealtime the dog quickly goes to work on the spilled food, her speed aided by her habit of sitting under the table when the kids eat. Meanwhile, I work on other childcare duties, such as pulling another tray of food before that child can throw it on the floor, and by the time I catch my breath, I have a sparkling clean floor.
The dog has her limitations, though. She has finite stomach space, and won’t eat a large quantity of food. Also, she’s moody and slow to work in the mornings. While I can relate to that quirk, it often means she ignores those early morning messes. The boys blew past both of those limitations this morning, and had me reaching for the broom and dustpan before I could even put breakfast on the table.
I dress everyone first thing in the morning. That protects the pajamas from mealtime, and prevents the saturated overnight diapers from leaking. I opened the door to the boys’ room, and walked into Abbie’s room. Usually the boys wander into Abbie’s room to greet us after a long night of separation. Sometimes they stay in their room, also being moody and slow to work in the morning. Today they ran into the kitchen and found the half-bag of Fruit Rings I foolishly left within their clutches. As I helped Abbie dress for the day, I heard the unmistakable clatter of dozens of bite-sized food pellets tumbling to the floor. After a quick investigation to ensure they hadn’t done something dangerous, I discovered that they had dumped the entire remaining bag of Fruit Rings on the floor. I shrugged, and went back to Abbie’s room to check that her shirt was on right side out with the front facing front.
When I went back to the kitchen, the dog in her moodiness was ignoring the spill, but the boys were eagerly cleaning it. I grabbed my broom and started sweeping before the boys could ingest too much more dirt.
After spending too much time cleaning, I put the broom away, changed the boys, and started making breakfast. By now, breakfast was very late to the tray, and the boys were frantic with hunger despite their fruity floor snack. I sped the food to the trays and sat the children in their seats with cereal in their bowls, and milk in their cups. I paused to catch my breath, and saw Tory dump his entire bowl of cereal on the floor. Apparently he just wanted the milk to wash down the cereal he already ate. The dog, unwilling to meet the day, was still in her kennel, so I sent Tory to his room as punishment while I pulled the broom and dustpan back into use.
* The laundry room last I checked.
posted by Matt at
11:41 PM
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