Bored Babies
I think most parents of multiples look back at their babies’ newborn weeks as the hardest. Endlessly fussy babies, constant diaper changes, and midnight feedings* combine to create exhausted parents. I’ve heard other parents say they sleepwalk through the early days in a fog, unsure of who needs to eat: Baby #1, baby #2, spouse, or self.
I never had this trouble when my boys were born, and not just because they were in the NICU for three weeks and I didn’t have to do a thing besides drive to the hospital and gaze lovingly at them for a few minutes a day. Even when they came home, they were pretty easy babies. Maybe it was the NICU’s rigid schedule, or maybe it was my adherence to the Babywise techniques that two-thirds of the Internet swears leaves children unloved and malnourished, but my job could’ve been much worse. During the day I had to feed them, keep them awake for a while, let them nap, and repeat on a two-and-a-half hour cycle. At night they only woke up twice to eat except on the rare worst of nights, and quickly transitioned down to one feeding overnight. If I ever needed a break, say to go to the bathroom or perhaps to pull something from Abbie’s mouth, I’d leave the boys on the floor and they’d stay content and possibly asleep until I returned.
I’m not bragging. No, I’m trying to elicit sympathy, because I swear the boys are growing more difficult. I don’t mean difficult in a “getting into everything now” way, either. They are getting into everything, but Abbie already gets into everything, and does so more efficiently, so I’m used to it. I’ve learned to move everything beyond a child’s grasp, or to accept that someone will grab it and break it, eat it, and/or coat the furniture with it.
I mean the boys are more difficult in a “quick to meltdown” way. For the past several months we’ve had an agreement: They get to eat, and then I get to eat and afterwards clean up while they entertain themselves. It’s been a useful arrangement that gives me a few minutes of downtime while the kids play nicely, or at least they’d better refrain from killing each other because I’m not putting down my spoon unless there’s blood spilled.
Our arrangement is eroding as they’re melting down before I can finish my cereal. I used to be able to appease them with handfuls of Tasteeos, and that’s still my first tactic. I’ll walk out to my screaming mini men, drop a handful of Tasteeos between them, and return to my bowl as they snack from their bowl. The Tasteeos are losing their allure, though, as sometimes they ignore the food and continue screaming, or even keep screaming while eating, which has to be a choking hazard.
Yesterday, I didn’t even have a chance to pull my cereal box off the shelf before Ian started screaming. He was piercing eardrums as soon as his bottom hit the ground, and no Tasteeo was tasty enough to distract him. He wanted attention, or that “love” concept I’ve heard so much about, but I still had two children to care for plus my milk to pour. I left him to scream, hoped he’d calm down while I tended to his siblings and my cereal, and swooped him back up when he was still screaming a few minutes later. I ate my cereal that morning with the bowl to the side, the paper spread out in front, and Ian on my knee to the other side.
I’ve been hosting dinner company with me more frequently lately. I’m not sure why sitting passively on my knee is a more acceptable activity for them than playing with their toys while I eat, but I usually have someone with me. Abbie went through this phase, but she was much younger and I could still plan my meals around her naps.
After I finished my cereal, I set Ian back with his toys, and he seemed fine. I returned to my work in the kitchen, and loaded half the dishes into the dishwasher before hearing another scream. After investigating, I discovered Tory was screaming this time. Usually this means he’s bored, but this time it meant Abbie just raked her fingernails across his cheek hard enough to break the skin. I dropped everything I was doing to comfort him, living up to my rule to keep working unless blood is involved.
* Not to mention the 2am feedings, 3:30am feedings, and random screaming fits around sunrise.
I never had this trouble when my boys were born, and not just because they were in the NICU for three weeks and I didn’t have to do a thing besides drive to the hospital and gaze lovingly at them for a few minutes a day. Even when they came home, they were pretty easy babies. Maybe it was the NICU’s rigid schedule, or maybe it was my adherence to the Babywise techniques that two-thirds of the Internet swears leaves children unloved and malnourished, but my job could’ve been much worse. During the day I had to feed them, keep them awake for a while, let them nap, and repeat on a two-and-a-half hour cycle. At night they only woke up twice to eat except on the rare worst of nights, and quickly transitioned down to one feeding overnight. If I ever needed a break, say to go to the bathroom or perhaps to pull something from Abbie’s mouth, I’d leave the boys on the floor and they’d stay content and possibly asleep until I returned.
I’m not bragging. No, I’m trying to elicit sympathy, because I swear the boys are growing more difficult. I don’t mean difficult in a “getting into everything now” way, either. They are getting into everything, but Abbie already gets into everything, and does so more efficiently, so I’m used to it. I’ve learned to move everything beyond a child’s grasp, or to accept that someone will grab it and break it, eat it, and/or coat the furniture with it.
I mean the boys are more difficult in a “quick to meltdown” way. For the past several months we’ve had an agreement: They get to eat, and then I get to eat and afterwards clean up while they entertain themselves. It’s been a useful arrangement that gives me a few minutes of downtime while the kids play nicely, or at least they’d better refrain from killing each other because I’m not putting down my spoon unless there’s blood spilled.
Our arrangement is eroding as they’re melting down before I can finish my cereal. I used to be able to appease them with handfuls of Tasteeos, and that’s still my first tactic. I’ll walk out to my screaming mini men, drop a handful of Tasteeos between them, and return to my bowl as they snack from their bowl. The Tasteeos are losing their allure, though, as sometimes they ignore the food and continue screaming, or even keep screaming while eating, which has to be a choking hazard.
Yesterday, I didn’t even have a chance to pull my cereal box off the shelf before Ian started screaming. He was piercing eardrums as soon as his bottom hit the ground, and no Tasteeo was tasty enough to distract him. He wanted attention, or that “love” concept I’ve heard so much about, but I still had two children to care for plus my milk to pour. I left him to scream, hoped he’d calm down while I tended to his siblings and my cereal, and swooped him back up when he was still screaming a few minutes later. I ate my cereal that morning with the bowl to the side, the paper spread out in front, and Ian on my knee to the other side.
I’ve been hosting dinner company with me more frequently lately. I’m not sure why sitting passively on my knee is a more acceptable activity for them than playing with their toys while I eat, but I usually have someone with me. Abbie went through this phase, but she was much younger and I could still plan my meals around her naps.
After I finished my cereal, I set Ian back with his toys, and he seemed fine. I returned to my work in the kitchen, and loaded half the dishes into the dishwasher before hearing another scream. After investigating, I discovered Tory was screaming this time. Usually this means he’s bored, but this time it meant Abbie just raked her fingernails across his cheek hard enough to break the skin. I dropped everything I was doing to comfort him, living up to my rule to keep working unless blood is involved.
* Not to mention the 2am feedings, 3:30am feedings, and random screaming fits around sunrise.
posted by Matt at
11:45 PM
1 Comments:
I sympathize.
By
Becky, at 7:58 AM
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