Art Art Bo Bart
Here in Des Moines, we have a short window for outdoor festivals. If you want good weather for your event, you have to schedule between May and September, and even that can get dicey on the fringes. Failure to cram your event into one of these dozen weekends will result in the weather seen at the Drake Relays. The Drake Relays are a major collegiate and high school track and field event held in Des Moines in late-April, a time when the weather might be hot and sunny, cold and snowy, or occasionally both on successive days. This is why the local casino books Toto for an outdoor concert only during the heart of the summer months so that their dozens of fans can enjoy a warm Iowa night.
This weekend we welcomed the Des Moines Arts Festival. This is one of the highlights of the local festival scene, along with the Iowa State Fair. The events are similar in that both offer overpriced and frighteningly unhealthy foods, although with the Arts Festival the idea is to munch on your food while perusing the art offerings, while at the state fair the idea is to munch your food while perusing the additional food offerings.
The Festival’s website boasts that “patrons can purchase artwork in a variety of styles and prices from 150 professional artists from all over the country.” Indeed, the styles range from photographs that anybody with a digital camera and a software program with a “desaturate” filter could produce, to life-size humanoid sculptures that would be impractical in my home if for no other reason than they’d really creep me out every time I saw it while stumbling to and from the bathroom at 3am. The prices range from “Graco Stroller” expensive, to “Stokke Stroller” expensive. Every year I attend, I swear I’m going to buy something for $X, and every year the cheapest interesting thing I find is an unframed, unmated print for $XR2. The website also boasts that it’s the country’s third best fine arts festival, which might sound like a strange thing to boast about, but keep in mind that nothing else non-agricultural in Iowa ranks in the top three nationally of anything.
We packed up the kids and $X yesterday morning and drove out to this exciting event. I say exciting because the roads, sidewalks, and apparently river next to the Festival were all under construction, forcing a temporary move to a slightly different spot. This meant that, after navigating the one-ways and closed streets of downtown, we had to park four blocks from the entrance and walk with three small children across busy streets, over dangerously cracked sidewalks, and past an adult bookstore. We stuffed the kids into two strollers, which helped expedite the journey, at least until we hit a pothole.
I pushed the twins in the double-stroller. They napped through most of our browsing, or at least sat quietly when awake. Ellie pushed Abbie in an umbrella stroller. I had hoped that Abbie could enjoy some of the Festival’s children’s activities, but the activities were mostly for school-age children. I’d think they could at least provide a giant finger-painting station for children who are too young to read. Or follow directions. Or talk. Instead we kept Abbie amused with the best form of toddler entertainment known: A bowlful of Goldfish crackers.
Ellie’s umbrella stroller gave her almost full mobility in the crowded artist booths as she took up no more space than some of the other patrons who looked like they annually enjoy all ten days of the Iowa State Fair, plus she was much more agile. My double-stroller, a front-and-back model, limited my browsing ability. To enter a booth, I’d have to walk the stroller in perpendicular to the sidewalk, careful not to bump the artist from his chair or any of his four-figure works of art, and then back the stroller out, careful not to bump any patrons or their two-figure meals. I quickly gave up and stayed on the sidewalk, allowing me to enjoy the art at a distance without realizing how much they cost.
We skimmed all 150 artists in a little over an hour. We could have returned to our favorites, but at that point Abbie was out of Goldfish, and both of the boys were awake and becoming curious where their milk was. We started back to the car, but took a detour to purchase one thing before leaving: A 20-ounce bottle of soda pop for $X-1.
This weekend we welcomed the Des Moines Arts Festival. This is one of the highlights of the local festival scene, along with the Iowa State Fair. The events are similar in that both offer overpriced and frighteningly unhealthy foods, although with the Arts Festival the idea is to munch on your food while perusing the art offerings, while at the state fair the idea is to munch your food while perusing the additional food offerings.
The Festival’s website boasts that “patrons can purchase artwork in a variety of styles and prices from 150 professional artists from all over the country.” Indeed, the styles range from photographs that anybody with a digital camera and a software program with a “desaturate” filter could produce, to life-size humanoid sculptures that would be impractical in my home if for no other reason than they’d really creep me out every time I saw it while stumbling to and from the bathroom at 3am. The prices range from “Graco Stroller” expensive, to “Stokke Stroller” expensive. Every year I attend, I swear I’m going to buy something for $X, and every year the cheapest interesting thing I find is an unframed, unmated print for $XR2. The website also boasts that it’s the country’s third best fine arts festival, which might sound like a strange thing to boast about, but keep in mind that nothing else non-agricultural in Iowa ranks in the top three nationally of anything.
We packed up the kids and $X yesterday morning and drove out to this exciting event. I say exciting because the roads, sidewalks, and apparently river next to the Festival were all under construction, forcing a temporary move to a slightly different spot. This meant that, after navigating the one-ways and closed streets of downtown, we had to park four blocks from the entrance and walk with three small children across busy streets, over dangerously cracked sidewalks, and past an adult bookstore. We stuffed the kids into two strollers, which helped expedite the journey, at least until we hit a pothole.
I pushed the twins in the double-stroller. They napped through most of our browsing, or at least sat quietly when awake. Ellie pushed Abbie in an umbrella stroller. I had hoped that Abbie could enjoy some of the Festival’s children’s activities, but the activities were mostly for school-age children. I’d think they could at least provide a giant finger-painting station for children who are too young to read. Or follow directions. Or talk. Instead we kept Abbie amused with the best form of toddler entertainment known: A bowlful of Goldfish crackers.
Ellie’s umbrella stroller gave her almost full mobility in the crowded artist booths as she took up no more space than some of the other patrons who looked like they annually enjoy all ten days of the Iowa State Fair, plus she was much more agile. My double-stroller, a front-and-back model, limited my browsing ability. To enter a booth, I’d have to walk the stroller in perpendicular to the sidewalk, careful not to bump the artist from his chair or any of his four-figure works of art, and then back the stroller out, careful not to bump any patrons or their two-figure meals. I quickly gave up and stayed on the sidewalk, allowing me to enjoy the art at a distance without realizing how much they cost.
We skimmed all 150 artists in a little over an hour. We could have returned to our favorites, but at that point Abbie was out of Goldfish, and both of the boys were awake and becoming curious where their milk was. We started back to the car, but took a detour to purchase one thing before leaving: A 20-ounce bottle of soda pop for $X-1.
posted by Matt at
11:34 PM
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