"I have got to do something about that air conditioner suction."
Here in Iowa, we’re experiencing a scorching heat wave. It’s been so hot, people have been packing the theaters for “Fantastic Four” just to for the air conditioning. This is in direct contrast to last summer when the temperature stayed fairly pleasant for the entire summer and I was cursing my luck for determining that would be the first summer we lived in our housing with free utilities; I only have three years to enjoy our cushy arrangement, and I want all of the hot weather out of the way before I have to start paying air conditioning bills again. We’re certainly getting lots of hot weather out of the way this year. Without looking up anything, or “doing research” as real writers would call it, I’d say that we’ve suffered at least four straight weeks of high temperatures in the mid-80’s and up, and dew points no lower than 60. The past few days have days have seen the temperatures top 90 with the dew point in the upper 60’s. Yesterday, the heat index hit 100, and the thermometer in Ellie’s truck that’s parked on the concrete sea we call a front yard read 112. All of this may not sound exceptionally hot to people in warmer climates, like Missouri or Hell,* but remember that in Iowa summer is our respite from months of snow and the radical temperature change breaks us like a small cracked cup holding frozen food being microwaved for six minutes.
Extreme heat like what we’re now seeing makes young children cranky. Of course, many other things make children cranky, including extreme cold and ideal temperatures, but the heat affects young children in a unique way; specifically it makes them hot. When adults are hot, we can cool down a bit by finding a breeze or fanning ourselves. If that doesn’t work, we can take our minds off the heat by engaging in idle chatter with phrases like “sure is hot today” and “hot enough for you?” Young children lack the breeze-finding and idle chatter abilities of adults, though, leaving their comfort to the mercy of the elements. Oh, and their caretakers have a role in helping keep them cool, too.
We have air conditioning, so keeping Abbie cool is as simple as keeping her inside. Keeping her inside is not simple by the way. First there’s the myriad of chores I must complete throughout the course of the day with her in tow. Between visiting the store for groceries, the auto shop for car repairs, and the bank for cookie day, we’re constantly moving in and out and about town in my car. My car has air conditioning in the sense that there’s a setting that turns on a compressor capable of producing air marginally cooler than the outside air. This compressor makes the car’s interior bearable, but I still have to plan frequent stops to give her a chance to cool down in store air conditioning before she has a chance to complain too vociferously about the heat. The piercing sun also creates comfort problems by warming exposed metal, specifically the metal found on car seat buckles, to temperatures ordinarily associated only with the boiling point of purely hypothetical metals. I have to be very careful when buckling her in so I don’t burn her, which would make her scream, or burn myself, which would make me scream and, in turn, her scream. Second, keeping her inside all day is tough because she entertains herself so much better outside. Even in this heat, when she grows bored of the approximately 68,494,035 books and toys assembled inside for her enjoyment, I’ll take her outside because of the nearly infinite number of amusing objects out there (Woodchips! Grass! Ants!). I do my best to keep her in one of the many shaded areas of our yard, and sometimes my efforts work for as long as 49 seconds because something of immeasurable interest will always catch her eye in the unprotected parts of the lawn. As she toddles after it, I do my best to stay between her and the sun, risking melanoma and sunburn to keep her in portable shade while she jams rocks in her mouth. Eventually the heat gets to her, or at least one of us, and I carry her back into our nicely air conditioned home. Hopefully all of this hot weather will be out of the way when we move in a couple of years.
* Is that redundant?
Extreme heat like what we’re now seeing makes young children cranky. Of course, many other things make children cranky, including extreme cold and ideal temperatures, but the heat affects young children in a unique way; specifically it makes them hot. When adults are hot, we can cool down a bit by finding a breeze or fanning ourselves. If that doesn’t work, we can take our minds off the heat by engaging in idle chatter with phrases like “sure is hot today” and “hot enough for you?” Young children lack the breeze-finding and idle chatter abilities of adults, though, leaving their comfort to the mercy of the elements. Oh, and their caretakers have a role in helping keep them cool, too.
We have air conditioning, so keeping Abbie cool is as simple as keeping her inside. Keeping her inside is not simple by the way. First there’s the myriad of chores I must complete throughout the course of the day with her in tow. Between visiting the store for groceries, the auto shop for car repairs, and the bank for cookie day, we’re constantly moving in and out and about town in my car. My car has air conditioning in the sense that there’s a setting that turns on a compressor capable of producing air marginally cooler than the outside air. This compressor makes the car’s interior bearable, but I still have to plan frequent stops to give her a chance to cool down in store air conditioning before she has a chance to complain too vociferously about the heat. The piercing sun also creates comfort problems by warming exposed metal, specifically the metal found on car seat buckles, to temperatures ordinarily associated only with the boiling point of purely hypothetical metals. I have to be very careful when buckling her in so I don’t burn her, which would make her scream, or burn myself, which would make me scream and, in turn, her scream. Second, keeping her inside all day is tough because she entertains herself so much better outside. Even in this heat, when she grows bored of the approximately 68,494,035 books and toys assembled inside for her enjoyment, I’ll take her outside because of the nearly infinite number of amusing objects out there (Woodchips! Grass! Ants!). I do my best to keep her in one of the many shaded areas of our yard, and sometimes my efforts work for as long as 49 seconds because something of immeasurable interest will always catch her eye in the unprotected parts of the lawn. As she toddles after it, I do my best to stay between her and the sun, risking melanoma and sunburn to keep her in portable shade while she jams rocks in her mouth. Eventually the heat gets to her, or at least one of us, and I carry her back into our nicely air conditioned home. Hopefully all of this hot weather will be out of the way when we move in a couple of years.
* Is that redundant?
posted by Matt at
9:16 PM
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